Pet Jailbreak/heading cats


So when we get out of this I’m going to sprint around like an idiot, that is when you make your break.


I think we can make it, just wait till the big guy lets his guard down.


I’m skeptical of your plan, how about I just go outside and chase some imaginary bunnies. That sounds like a good plan, right boss.

So at 1:01AM there was a pet jailbreak. As my parents were leaving to head back to the hotel, Stella and Mosley made a break for the door. Stella at her fastest old cat waddle went straight, Mosley at some sort of hyper-cat speed went left. I thought I would do the prudent thing and catch Mosley first, but he disappeared around the house into the dark. I tried to cut him off by going through the house, but I couldn’t find him. I brought Rio out to help, but she took off after something (also in the dark).  Meanwhile, Stella is heading across the street with my Mom in tow, trying to herd her back into our yard (yes, she was literally herding cats). No one wanted to grab her because of her reputation for inflicting heavy damage on anyone attempting to help her (just as Heather).  I finally got her and put her into the house, but now Rio and Mosley are no where to be found.  I spot Mosley in the neighbors garden and go after him, but every time I get close he bolts for cover, or around another corner.  Meanwhile, my Mom has grabbed a Frisbee and looks like a ground control person at an airport, waving the Frisbee like she is signalling a plane to park someplace.  Rio has chosen this moment to chase what I will assume is a rabbit four houses down and across the street, and even once I see her she is refusing to listen.  Luckily a few harsh words send her scurrying back into the house leaving only Mosley.  I have him close a few times, but I am reticent to just grab him because I’m not going to the emergency room for the stupid cat. He can stay outside. With my parents now posted on the corners of the house Mosley makes the mistake of going into the narrower passage between our house and our left hand neighbor.  He finally gives up, and I pick him up and put him into the first closet I can find (from which he sprinted at top speed as soon as the door cracked again two minutes later).  Crisis averted and lessons learned.  1. don’t let the cat out. 2. don’t tell the dog to find the cat because the dog will just get too excited and chase the first thing that moves, and likely in the opposite direction.  3. I need to get into much better shape because before too long that jailbreak could include Katie (given my lifetime Karma and my own toddlerhood predilection for running away from authorities at top speed – often with accompanying hiding – this worst case scenario jail break is likely to happen). 4. I need to pick up the dog poop from the yard.  So now everyone is settled back down, hopefully this will inspire me to work a little harder on myself so I won’t be winded or have a heart attach the next time I need to herd cats, toddlers, and Labradors.

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