The Greatest of All Magical Fairies

Rio knows this is not the right place to go, but as queen of the inappropriate poopers it is all good.

Rio knows this is not the right place to go, but as queen of the inappropriate poopers it is all good.

The Greatest of All the Magical Fairies

The Greatest of All the Magical Fairies

The Greatest of All the Magical Fairies

Today I was visited by the most magical fairy of all… The Dog Poop Fairy.  I am usually diligent about cleaning up after Rio.  This is particularly true when we go for walks.  Rio has a reputation as an inappropriate pooper. She waits till someone is coming home, then poops in their yard. She goes to the beach and poos in the water (the aqua dookie is the worst of all inappropriate poops). Or perhaps while crossing a bridge, in the middle of the walkway.  The picture is clear. And for that reason I almost always carry little plastic bags to pick up her messes.  I call it Dog-Poo Karma.  Even if no one sees us, and it is dark, I still pick it up.  If we are in the forest and she goes on the trail, I pick it up.  On the beach, same thing.  About the only place I don’t immediately pick up her leavings is the park across from my house.  Yes, I know I should always pick it up immediately, but often it is dark and I am tired. Or I just woke up and I’m just not ready to face my day with a handful of poop.  This is especially true in the winter, when the snow was drifting in parts of the park 2-3 feet.  Rio would walk on top of the drifts and lay off a loaf, but I couldn’t follow lest I become mired in snow and excrement (two of my least favorite things).  So I let it lay. When the park isn’t snow covered I usually dedicate 30 minutes of my weekend to patrolling the park for piles.  It is even listed on my recurring to do list on my phone.  However, winter and especially April, found my desire to clean the public park highly limited.  I figured I would wait till the snow melted and attack the problem all in one fell swoop.  But April dropped 50 inches of snow so the turds waited.  And then today, as I prepared my rake and shovel, something magical happened.  I searched the park and where I should have found a winter’s worth of awfulness, I found a few piles hidden among the pine cones.  I know the poo was there, I saw them all dropped.  I even thought to myself yesterday, as I sat on the park bench, I should really do something about all this shit.  And today POOF – no poop.  The magical poop fairy has seen my into my poop karmic soul and decided to deliver me from the grossest part of my week (and I have spent time collecting fish urine and ovaries).  Maybe it was Rio being sick yesterday and having an accident in the house that set my karma out of balance, requiring the outside world to intervene to restore the balance.  Or maybe it was just some poor bastard who works for the city and has to go around every spring and de-poo the parks because of assholes like me.  But I am choosing to believe it was good karma for good deeds in the past and the Magical Poop Fairy.  (if not and it was some dude, let me know, because I owe that guy a couple of beers). 

Today I was visited by the most magical fairy of all… The Dog Poop Fairy.  I am usually diligent about cleaning up after Rio.  This is particularly true when we go for walks.  Rio has a reputation as an inappropriate pooper. She waits till someone is coming home, then poops in their yard. She goes to the beach and poos in the water (the aqua dookie is the worst of all inappropriate poops). Or perhaps while crossing a bridge, in the middle of the walkway.  The picture is clear. And for that reason I almost always carry little plastic bags to pick up her messes.  I call it Dog-Poo Karma.  Even if no one sees us, and it is dark, I still pick it up.  If we are in the forest and she goes on the trail, I pick it up.  On the beach, same thing.  About the only place I don’t immediately pick up her leavings is the park across from my house.  Yes, I know I should always pick it up immediately, but often it is dark and I am tired. Or I just woke up and I’m just not ready to face my day with a handful of poop.  This is especially true in the winter, when the snow was drifting in parts of the park 2-3 feet.  Rio would walk on top of the drifts and lay off a loaf, but I couldn’t follow lest I become mired in snow and excrement (two of my least favorite things).  So I let it lay. When the park isn’t snow covered I usually dedicate 30 minutes of my weekend to patrolling the park for piles.  It is even listed on my recurring to do list on my phone.  However, winter and especially April, found my desire to clean the public park highly limited.  I figured I would wait till the snow melted and attack the problem all in one fell swoop.  But April dropped 50 inches of snow so the turds waited.  And then today, as I prepared my rake and shovel, something magical happened.  I searched the park and where I should have found a winter’s worth of awfulness, I found a few piles hidden among the pine cones.  I know the poo was there, I saw them all dropped.  I even thought to myself yesterday, as I sat on the park bench, I should really do something about all this shit.  And today POOF – no poop.  The magical poop fairy has seen my into my poop karmic soul and decided to deliver me from the grossest part of my week (and I have spent time collecting fish urine and ovaries).  Maybe it was Rio being sick yesterday and having an accident in the house that set my karma out of balance, requiring the outside world to intervene to restore the balance.  Or maybe it was just some poor bastard who works for the city and has to go around every spring and de-poo the parks because of assholes like me.  But I am choosing to believe it was good karma for good deeds in the past and the Magical Poop Fairy.  (if not and it was some dude, let me know, because I owe that guy a couple of beers). 

no poop fairy

The poop fairy isn’t real? Then who picked up the park poo?

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